My Home is My Sanctuary

This came about because last night a woman in my building was raped and it put the last straw on the camels back for me. I’ve said before I came home to Alaska after a horrible marriage to an abusive man. So friends of mine are worried about my kids, and I, and our safety because of the rape upstairs, but there are other women here who have no one to watch over them.

My home is my sanctuary a place of peace, happiness, and sometimes joy. Oh, we have our downs, and we have siblings that fight once in awhile, or throw fits, but on the whole it’s a comfortable and a comforting place to be.

Main Entry: sanc·tu·ary Pronunciation: \ˈsaŋ(k)-chə-ˌwer-ē\Function: noun Inflected Form(s): plural sanc·tu·ar·iesEtymology: Middle English seintuarie, sanctuarie, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin sanctuarium, from Latin sanctusDate: 14th century

1 : a consecrated place: as a : the ancient Hebrew temple at Jerusalem or its holy of holies b (1) : the most sacred part of a religious building (as the part of a Christian church in which the altar is placed) (2) : the room in which general worship services are held (3) : a place (as a church or a temple) for worship
2 a (1) : a place of refuge and protection (2) : a refuge for wildlife where predators are controlled and hunting is illegal b : the immunity from law attached to a sanctuary http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sanctuary

I have rules, a ton of them, but they are mainly common sense. Like no violence allowed, no abuse of others (including animals), or self. If you mess it - you clean it., etc…. Basically pretty easy rules to follow. I have a few that are different to what others have, such as you must remove your shoes when you enter my home, it’s an Alaskan thing, it’s done for two reasons; respect and cleanliness.

If you are a child I will treat you no different than my own for the most part, but you will be treated as a child. If you are an adult you will be treated as an adult, even if you are my child. Everyone must treat one another with respect no matter what their age.

Manners must be followed at all times. The people that you live with, or share a home with, are in your lives on a daily basis. Why should you treat them worse than you would a stranger you meet on the street? Table manners are a must so as not to disgust anyone. I even had a cat that swept the area around her bowl clean when she was done eating. Learn to use your flat-ware correctly, chew with your mouth shut . Be a good conversationalist at the table and I will be happy.

Americans have seemed to have forgotten how to behave in other peoples homes, especially children. Teach them to behave in public and in other peoples homes. When I ask a child to leave my home it’s because they’ve broken a rule and are unapologetic about it.

If you like the way my house is decorated, great if you don’t then don’t mention it. It was designed to function for myself and my family. Designed for our comfort and our ease of use. I’ll be as polite to you in your home.

When did we as a nation seem to forget that our homes are meant to be lived in, not merely a place to sleep at night. A place to show up the neighbors to see them get jealous over what we own, instead of making them feel comfortable, and happy, to be there? It used to be a compliment to be known for your good hospitality. Now if you’re a generous neighbor you’re a sucker to anyone that wants something that you have.

How many of your neighbors do you actually socialize with? Is there a neighbor that you can trust to watch your home if you’re not there, or do you have to higher someone? Do you let your kids play outside knowing that they’ll be safe? When did living in the suburbs, or small towns, become as dangerous for them as living in the major metropolitan areas?

Home should provide warmth, comfort, joy, happiness and all the things that money can’t buy, caring parents who watch their kids, and neighbors that take care of each other in times of need, or distress. If your neighbor had a heart attack, or serious illness, would you go next door and offer to help with the household chores? If a woman in your neighborhood were raped, or beaten, in her home would you offer to help her until she recovered from her wounds? If you heard her cries, or screams, would you call the police?

Things have gotten so bad these days that the town I lived in in Oklahoma felt spooky to me, because I rarely saw children playing outside. I rarely heard a child’s laughter other than my own kids. When my kids went out to play then one, or two, other kids would show up, and then bully boys would turn up. I’d have to chase them off. They are bullies because they get away with it. Everyone is scared to tell them to get lost even adults. Why?

Neglected children, neglected homes, neglected neighborhoods and ghost towns is what we’ve turned into. How do people find comfort in that? Why as children have grown up, and moved on, do you expect them to come home to that? “Quality time” and “Family Nights” aren’t working because this is real life we’re living not some Brady Bunch World. Why model your lives after TV programs that were imaginary in the first place? None of us is June Cleaver or Roseanne Barr! Quit watching Oprah, and Dr Phil, and get back to reality. Those two have made just as many mistakes in thier lives as everyone else, and they’ll tell the world about them.

As long as adults are trying to model themselves after celebrities, and fictional characters, our kids are too. From what I heard even Madonna got upset with her daughter for dressing like she does for her shows. What does that say about the parents who let their little girls dress like the local prostitutes? When parents let their sons “sag” have they bothered to tell their sons where that fad originated? Why have we as a society allowed gang bangers, and shock rockers, to become role models for our middle class teenagers?

Why are parents that care about their children’s education abandoning the public school system in droves, home schooling, or placing them in private schools that they can barely afford? Sometimes taking on part time jobs, and in some cases even second part time jobs, to keep them there? I know a public school teacher in one of the small towns I lived in in Oklahoma that home schools his own kids, not allowing them to attend the same school that he’s a teacher at! Doesn’t that say something about the schools?

We have to start caring again! Caring about our kids, our homes, our neighborhoods our towns, our lives and our families lives because I’ll tell you what right now no one else will! The only way things are going to get better is when everyone pitches in and makes things better! Don’t toot your own horn because you gave a can of veggies to the food bank last week! Toot your horn when you can say there isn’t a single hungry child in your town. Don’t toot your own horn because you have the only well behaved child in your neighborhood! Toot your horn when you can hear children’s laughter echoing up and down the street, in every street in town, in every town in the country. It's our responsibility to make the world a good and safe place for our children and our grandchildren.